Meds?

I've never liked the idea of anyone taking an anti-depressant.  I don't like how it seems to shut down their emotions, they never get angry, they are never sad, it is the same emotion 24/7.  Because of what I have seen in others, I have always been very resistant to taking medication as well as seeing a therapist.  The depression had to get to the place where I sat and cried all day, every day before I was willing to even consider talking to someone.  Then it had to get to the place where all I wanted to do was stay in bed all day, every day.  I couldn't function anymore.  I looked like a zombie.  I had absolutely zero motivation to get dressed, much less brush my teeth and forget about doing anything else.  I couldn't sleep, I totally lost my appetite or desire to see my family.  That is when I was ready to acknowledge that I might need to consider medication.

Thankfully, my therapist and doctor are working together and both agreed to start me out on small doses to ensure that I don't have a reaction to the meds.  They have also agreed that this is not a permanent thing.  The goal is to only be on it for a year and then slowly come off.  I started the medication 12 days ago.  I was told not to expect any noticeable changes for at least 3 weeks.  I am already seeing changes.  I am more relaxed.  I don't stress out over little things like I was.  I am sleeping again and while it may take me a while to actually get out of bed once I wake up, I don't want to stay in bed all day.  I'm not functioning to the degree that I once did, but I am getting a little done every day and for that, I am very grateful.

This is going to be a slow process, but I am ready to do what it will take to get through this.