This is one of those weeks and days that frustrate me to no end. I had a decent therapy session...cried a lot, wasn't expecting that. It wasn't as if we delved into anything painful from my past...we were talking about things I'm dealing with right now. I left with my gut tied up in knots, sick at my stomach and with no desire to do anything.
I am so tired of the fight! I am tired of the frustration at not being motivated to accomplish anything. I am tired of feeling guilty because I'm not accomplishing anything and feeling like I'm letting everyone down. I'm tired of feeling like I'm never going to get my life back because I know that isn't true. I am just so tired of not knowing what else is around the corner, of not understanding this illness.
My therapist keeps telling me that what I am going through is normal for this illness...that I am right on par with how he believes I should be progressing, that I've made huge strides in some areas that you wouldn't expect me to yet and he tells me to cut myself some slack...much easier said than done. I know that I shouldn't feel guilty or frustrated with myself...I just want this to all be over and done with. God please help me! Grant me the strength and grace to get through this and to bring you glory and honor with my response to this illness. Heaven knows I can't do this on my own!!!!!
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