The problem with depression is that one moment you are on top of the world, nothing can get you down and the next, you are being buried under an avalanche and can't find your way out. I am hurting so badly right now. I am under the weight of spiritual attack and all those that I once counted on to be my prayer warriors, to stand in the gap for me when I was doing all I could to fight to keep my head above water...are no longer there because of a doctrinal disagreement. Those who said that they would continue to be there for me and to love me have distanced themselves leaving me to stand alone to fight these attacks...my heart is heavy and it hurts, more because I know that I wouldn't have done that to them.
My husband chose to allow the enemy to use him to attack me and while he has admitted that he has been a biblical donkey...I have hit ENOUGH...NEVER AGAIN...I refuse to be accused of something that I am not guilty of in order to manipulate me into doing something.
I just want it all to be over...God please take me home now...I cannot take anymore...I just don't have the strength and as I finish speaking those words, I hear, "My strength is made perfect in your weakness..."I must continue to trust, to hold on to those precious nail scarred hands...grant me grace Lord!
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