Wow! REALLY?! Mad doesn't even begin to describe how absolutely angry I am. If you look really close...you might actually see smoke coming from my ears! I'm definitely taking ownership of how I am feeling...I am so stinking mad.
My therapist tells me that anger is part of the depression and that it won't be the only time that I feel this way...oh I do hope he is wrong because I don't like this feeling, but right now...it is the only thing keeping me sane! Usually I feel guilty for feeling like this, but you know...there are moments in your life when you get backed up into a corner and you have two choices...continue cowering in that corner or bulldoze your way through the ones that have backed you into it. In order for me to get out of this corner, I am going to have to hold onto my anger so that I can bust through those who would literally lie to my face and then manipulate me.
My husband is a pastor...but after these last few days it has become very clear that in order for me to heal...we are going to have to step out of ministry because I can't do this anymore. With that knowledge comes a whole lot of other stresses and I'm not sure how we will get it all figured out. We already know that I can't work with the depression as bad as it is...so only time will tell what ends up happening.
My blog is my safe place to be honest about my feelings. If you are reading this or have read any of my earlier postings and you are offended...know that I am typing raw feelings and I am being brutally honest with how I feel and it is NOT my intention to be offensive in any way. However, this is MY safe place and I will not tip toe around on eggshells because I am worried that I might offend someone.
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