My therapist really tried hard, last Friday, to convince me not to go see family this past weekend. He didn't feel that it would be a good thing for me, was actually afraid that it would set me back quite a ways. Ha! I told him flat out that I was going and that was that, then proceeded to ask if we could skip this week's session because I am low on funds. His response to that was...NO! Funds or no funds, be here for your appointment. I think he was more wigged out and stressed over my upcoming visit than I was.
So...how did the visit go? Hurtful comments started within an hour of our arrival and I responded lightly and pretty much laughed it off. Drama started before 8:00 A.M. the next morning and the funny thing is, instead of grabbing me to vent to, my step-dad grabbed my husband. Whew! Close call.
For most of the day, I was treated as a guest rather than family, so I decided to act like a guest. If you want my help, then you can ask me, I'm not going to get up and act like part of the family and just do whatever I see needs to be done. Amazingly, I was asked quite a few times and I cheerfully helped out. I felt the depression trying to take over a few times, the old voices telling me how worthless I was, but I made a choice not to give in and not to listen to either.
I managed to enjoy myself and to come home without all the tension that I normally come home with. I'm not feeling depressed and I can even laugh over the drama that took place. I refuse to sit around, throwing myself a pity party and singing, "oh woe is me, no one loves me and I'm worthless!" Cause the truth is...God loves me. My husband loves me. My children love me. My grands love me. Does it really matter if anyone else does or not? Those are the most important in my life. Am I worthless? No, God's word tells me that I was created in His own image, that I am a joint-heir with Christ, making me a princess to the King of kings and Lord of lords! I will listen to the voice of truth rather than the father of lies.
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