M.I.A.!

Yep, I guess I have been missing in action since my last post.  I thought that I would be okay after the 10th...didn't work out that way.  I have had a battle with the depression and it didn't help that even though I felt better on the 10 mg...it was making me want to sleep all the time, so I had to cut back to the 5 mg which doesn't keep me on as even a keel as the 10 mg does, but I am awake when I am supposed to be.  So, suffice it to say...the emotional battle that I was already dealing with was compounded by the change in my meds and I have truly been trying to avoid anyone and everyone possible.  That is my typical M.O.  When depression hits, I crawl into the deepest, darkest hole I can find and shut EVERYONE out.  My therapist wasn't having any of that.

Anyway...the dark is starting to lift.  I am visiting our youngest son and his family and having a great time with our grandson.  So...it may be a while before I post anything again.  I really don't have much to say in spite of all that I've been facing...I don't know what to say, everything is tied up in knots in my mind and my gut, so until I can get it figured out...

The End Of A Chapter...

This week has been rough.  Battling migraines, back spasms, swollen eyeballs, stressed out and restless nights...had a moment of deja-vu that caused me to realize exactly what the problem is.  Tomorrow is the day that the door closes on a 3 year dream.  It also brings to end a 47 year chapter of my life.  I don't deal well with change, especially changes of this magnitude.  It is no wonder that my body is having fits.

I am hoping that once tomorrow passes, all of these issues will resolve as I stop looking back and start looking forward to where God is going to lead in this new season of my life.  I am very grateful that I have a therapy session tomorrow...it is going to be a difficult day.  Thankfully, I can see again, but the pain in my head just will not let up.

I am grateful that I am beginning to recognize what is causing the pain, as well as the gloom that descends at times.  I also have discovered that the lexipro that I am on is too strong...all I want to do is sleep, so back to 5 mg for me.